Part IV

The latest hopeless attempts at communication, found on my desk.


Holland

















Let's hope that says 'Holland.' And that Irene is moving there. Possibly with someone named 'Rillma.'





Punish Co-Workers

















When I first looked at this, I thought it said 'Quirt,' meaning, "A short whip with a braided leather handle." Trying to think of how this might come into play at my work made me a little nervous.
Upon closer inspection I realized that, as usual, it's actually just jibberish.






New Bathroom






















"New bathroom handsoap order."
Oh how I love a good 'sequence of events' word puzzle.
She even added a box to make it challenging.





Wil-something














I'm not entirely sure this isn't Chinese.





Life Lessons in Penmanship






















There comes a day in everyone's life, when you realize... There are just some things you're not good at.






Patty

















And then there are some things that go so far beyond that, that people sometimes feel compelled to start weblogs that make fun of you for it.






Call















Call my 'Moum?' Why? Is she going to translate this crap for me?






Pest Control
















I don't even care what it says anymore, I just want to know where she keeps that awesome fly paper.






By Reqest

















"Lynne's Shorthand." Sent in by a loyal fan.





Honorable Mention, by Emma, 7






















Thanks Emma. I needed that.

PART III

VM



















The VM stands for voicemail. The scribbles at the top represent the name of the person who will not be notified about it.



VM 2/6



















"Will turn in transaction memo." I deciphered it myself! After almost three years of this shit, I'm getting pretty good at it.




Hill Top Condo (I think)



















Generally referred to as "Post-It 148." What about the hill-top condo you ask? Exactly.




Bad


















This looks bad, but believe me - it gets even worse.



Worse




















See?




Um...



















Is this upside down? Does it matter?




Check


















Yes, I'll... do that.




Pony




















This is one of mine. I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.




Heidi



















This is mine too - but my co-workers added to it when I wasn't looking. Ha ha guys. Very funny. But it is the most legible thing I've seen in a month!

PART II

(To start at the beginning - please see PART I.)


3 hole



















"Order Three Hole Punch."
This one's not bad. I mean, she almost got it right... turns out she really wanted a two hole punch.



Camera



















This one worries me. It's the phone number of some 'Susan Chick.' And the word 'camera.'




Fridge Clean



















"Fridge Clean Thurs 10/6."
I really appreciate the word order on this one. If it had been the other way around, I may have had to leave a note for Irene saying "Clean it your damn self!"



EM



















"Was flies??" Hmm. If there were flies, they're gone now.




Erin



















Wow. That arrow is NOT helping.



Wasco



















It was Mrs. Scarlett. In the Library. With the Candlestick.




Linda



















"Linda 1 Uppinghouse lunch."
The scary thing is, this one made perfect sense to me.




NE31





















This one is indicating that my paycheck got routed to a different office by mistake, and that I will be able to pick it up on Tuesday after 6:00.
Just kidding. I have no idea what this is about.




Dana



















Either I need to 'Call Dana,' or Dana is in the 'Well.' I'm not sure. Anything is possible, really.

PART I

#1




















You see what I mean?
This one looks like it says 'Susie hug.'
I am at a loss.

Wow, that was almost a haiku, what I just wrote.




6:00




















Something important is happening at 6:00 that I should probably know about. Looks like it may also require cash.





Water Bottles




















I'm guessing this says "water bottles." What I was supposed to get from this, is that the fire marshall was coming to our office for an inspection, and I needed to move the water bottles from in front of the electrical panel. Yeah. That's real clear. Thanks.




Jose Meeting




















This one is to notify me that next week's sales meeting will be at the Lloyd Tower office, and led by their broker, Jose. Apparently, two hardly legible words is all it takes to get this message across.




Moment of Clarity




















You can make out the word FAX, right? Me too!
Actually, this one isn't that bad. It says "Cameron call FAX paper jam." What it probably should say is, "please call fax repair - machine has paper jam." But I'm not picky.




Awne





















This is a cute one. I wonder what it means.




Grossman




















No clue.




Private Yard



















This one says "Private Yard *agent's name* 469,950 Sketch ## Agent Paid." Fortunately, I know exactly what that means. However, it has nothing to do with me.




FAX




















Again with the FAX. I love how she wrote off the side of this one.





Tissues




















This is the word "Tissues" with an underline. Evidently, we ran out and I need to order more. I have no idea who Bridget is.




5/25




















This one apparently has nothing to do with Jim P., and everything to do with Aladdin coming back from vacation on March 25th, rather than the 15th, as was previously scheduled. And yes, his name is actually Aladdin.




Whee!






















The day Irene's crack habit became obvious to everyone




Things To Do Today






















The circle means it's important. Too bad I have no idea why.




Friday at 2:00





















This one needs no explaination...
Or does it??
"Cameron, your mom called from France."





Wednes day




















Here's where I'm supposed to realize that the final RSVP list for the All-Company Meeting is due at the branch support office by Wednesday.
In Irene's world, Wednesday is sometimes two words.





Uh...




















When I asked her what this note was about, she said "I don't know... did I write that?"





Hot Nesting





















Megan thought this looked like it said "hot nesting." The ironic thing about that, is that "Sandy B*****" is pregnant.

The story of Irene

I work in a real estate office, as the front desk receptionist. Irene is the 'closing coordinator' also known as the general secretary. She is in her 60's. When I go to lunch, she covers for me - taking phone calls and greeting walk in customers. Often when I come back, there are the most curious little notes left for me on yellow post-its. I assume they pertain to something that needs my attention, but since I can't decipher her handwriting, I usually just end up asking her what they say. Or, in the rare event that I can read them, the legible words make little or no sense. Why she bothers to leave a note at all is beyond me. This amuses me to no end. I hope that you too, will be amused with the following gallery of Irene's post-its.